So It's Ok For a Man To Cheat?

For those who follow me on twitter, you would have recently seen a tweet about me asking if it was totally acceptable or not to do a rant post about an image on Facebook that I had recently seen. I wasn’t expecting a response in all honesty, I was just angry and wanted to vented it out but when other bloggers was like ‘hey, it’s your blog why the hell not?’ it got me thinking ‘Yeah, let’s rant this shit out.’

 

Just before I get started, I want to make it clear that I am aware that most men do not think this and most likely a lot of them where messing around (I hope), well I know the guys who I surround myself with wouldn’t think it and I like to think that the girls who are around me wouldn’t like to think it either.

So now that’s out of the way, I saw this photo on my Facebook newsfeed and if you are any women I would like to think your first reaction was ‘EW DISGUSTING’ or ‘Wtf?’ because quite frankly, that sucks to read. And let’s face it, if there was a photo going around Facebook saying ‘If he finds out u got a side guy a real man would lay his head at your feet & apologise for not being all the man you need!’ would be absolutely ridiculous! The comments would be filled with ‘No she’s a whore’ or slut or even death threats about the women.  

And even though the photo was disgusting, what was worse was the comments. I try and pride myself on empowering other women and what really sucked reading the comments was seeing OTHER WOMEN TEARING OTHER WOMEN DOWN.

What madness is that? Like how? WHY?  I don’t understand why girls need to sit there on their phones or their computer screens and tear down other females about their decision or their appearance PUBLICLY. I mean, hand on heart. When your ex gets with someone else I’m sure you and your best friend have probably made comments to each other privately? 

But would you really do this on a Facebook post when over a million people can read it and just think ‘what a tw*t’ (excuse my language). So there are just four  main points that I really want to rant about… 

O N E: ‘A Real Women would bow down and apologise for not being ALL Women for him’

 

 As a Women who has been cheated on, you do start to have this belief in your head and doubt that you wasn’t good enough. That is definitely not the case, if your partner has a problem or isn’t happy then (excuse my terminology here) but a ‘REAL’ man would want to fix the issue and talk about it or break up. The person who cheats is responsible for their physical actions. Do Not SHIFT blame to make yourself feel better. The fact that both men and women thought this was OK to agree with actually was shocking. If role were reversed I doubt if you were a guy you'd be thinking that. And for a female if this had happened to you, how can you just think that's acceptable to say when you would be believing it too?

T W O : ‘A Real Women would just chuck his ass and if not she’s weak’:

 

I mean seriously? Who, hand on heart would have the strength to get back with someone once they’ve cheated on you? I mean Beyoncé did it and realised she wanted to be with Jay-Z. In all honesty, relationships are complex and only you know the answer to what you should do.  Social shaming for someone to try and make their relationship work it’s pretty unfair. You’d be surprised how many women/men take back their partner after the incident and how many say the whole thing make them feel closer in the end. Why feel the need to degrade someone if that’s what they want to do? And for guys who were comment saying that that they lost respect for a women if they did this for you... Then do not take her back, she would deserve better than you.

T H R E E: The use of the word ‘Real’

Like what? So if I don’t bow down to male or vice versa… I DON’T EXIST? I mean, what on earth is REAL anyway? Aren’t we just confirming gender bias and stereotypes by using these? Who are we to define what a ‘real’ human should act, say or feel? Who decides who is real anyway?

F O U R: Shaming the side chic

Who has spoken to a guy thinking they are single to then later on found out that they aren’t single? How hurt were you? And also my friend you were the side chic. It can easily happen. Also, the person who is cheating are the ones who are manipulating the situation whether they are saying they are unhappy or that they are single. The side chic isn’t responsible for cheating, even though I get why people put the blame on them… Unless they are a close friend, the side person also owes you know loyalty. Your partner does and if they shift the blame on them, it was their action to cheat, I highly doubt she forced him too.   

If you have made it to the end, thank you for reading my rant post and please feel free to comment your thoughts and opinions on it xo  

6 Unexpected Side Effects from Antidepressants

It’s crazy to think how much a small pill can change your body and have a huge impact on your daily life without even realising. It’s surprising how most people associate antidepressants as ‘happy pills’ and just expect individuals with depression and anxiety just to be able to ‘get over it’ and think it’s a sudden fix. However, this isn’t the case and as with most people who first start taking antidepressants can tell you, symptoms tend to get worse before they get better.

S P O T S : Surprisingly, not a lot of people are aware of the fact that because your putting another hormone in to your body your hair and skin will get greasy and it’s crazy how bad your skin can feel and anyone would feel shitty when getting loads of spots on your face when you’ve past your teen years, it can be a sensitive time! But luckily, Sudocream and cleansing twice a day can really help!

H A I R: As mentioned above, your hair will naturally get greasier no matter how much you try and wash it. At first, I was very upset because after I showered, a few hours later my hair would be greasy again and it felt like nothing I could do would actually fix it. I tried everything, but the only thing I could really do was avoid certain products and buy shampoos for it.

S L E E P: Hormones, hormones, hormones! It’s crazy how much it can affect your sleep but it does. It can either increase the amount your having or keep you up all night even though you still feel tired and no matter how much sleep you have, you never feel fully replenished and awake so no wonder why you may become irritable towards people when all you want to do is sleep!

B A C K  P A I N: Constantly always feeling tired and irritable, it makes you stressed which then influences your sleep, which influences mood…Can you see a pattern forming here? Being stressed then causes physical pain which won’t really go away probably until you feel unstressed. No matter how many tablets I take, or how much heat I apply to my back or if someone massages, It comes back. And the only real way to get rid of that pain (if there isn’t a physical issue) is to resolve the thing you are stressed about, which is really hard to do when you can’t sleep and your emotions seem hey wire, I mean geez, can you see why people on antidepressants seem more ‘moody’ than before?

V I V I D  D R E A M S: I don’t know how 100% accurate this is, but I know I do and I know some of my friends have dreams that are so intense and seem so real that sometimes you can’t really remember what’s actually happened and what you dreamt about. The other day, I had a dream about my house mate being mad at me because I used her hair brush without asking and that she wanted me out of the house and wanted to kick me out. The dream was so real and vivid, for half the day I wasn’t sure if it happened or not and believed that my housemate didn’t like me until I remembered that it was just a dream.

F A T I G U E: linking so closely to sleep I know, but when you work and go to uni feeling tired all the time can be an absolute nightmare. Wanting to sleep every day and all day isn’t the best feeling and what happens when you feel tired? Your concentration starts to go… So the other day, I was sat in uni and I felt like I couldn’t cope, all I wanted to do is sleep so in my twenty-minute break, I ran up to the shop to get a brownie and Fanta to boost my sugar levels and turned round to my friend Meg ) about how tired I felt and that I needed a sugar rush and she turned around to me and was like ‘Why not fruit?’ and I looked at her and started to make these lame excuses, however she was right. Not long after I had a sugar comedown and I felt worse than I did before, So the next day I had a Banana, which believe it or not had a much better effect on my concentration. I mean, it lasted an hour but I felt a lot better and to some people it may be common knowledge, but I feel like this tip may be useful to someone else as well J

So all in all, this belief that individuals who start taking antidepressants should just ‘be happy’ and ‘are cured’ needs to leave, because these are only a few of the side effects which happen and as you may imagine, if you were tired all the time no matter how much you slept or constantly having a bad back you too would be irritable?

What do you guys think? Can you think of side effects which occur when taking antidepressants? And little tricks to make it easier?