For those who follow me on twitter, you would have recently
seen a tweet about me asking if it was totally acceptable or not to do a rant
post about an image on Facebook that I had recently seen. I wasn’t expecting a
response in all honesty, I was just angry and wanted to vented it out but when
other bloggers was like ‘hey, it’s your blog why the hell not?’ it got me
thinking ‘Yeah, let’s rant this shit out.’
Just before I get started, I want to make it clear that I am
aware that most men do not think this and most likely a lot of them where
messing around (I hope), well I know the guys who I surround myself with wouldn’t
think it and I like to think that the girls who are around me wouldn’t like to
think it either.
So now that’s out of the way, I saw this photo on my Facebook
newsfeed and if you are any women I would like to think your first reaction was
‘EW DISGUSTING’ or ‘Wtf?’ because quite frankly, that sucks to read. And let’s
face it, if there was a photo going around Facebook saying ‘If he finds out u
got a side guy a real man would lay his head at your feet & apologise for
not being all the man you need!’ would be absolutely ridiculous! The comments
would be filled with ‘No she’s a whore’ or slut or even death threats about the
women.
And even though the photo was disgusting, what was worse was
the comments. I try and pride myself on empowering other women and what really
sucked reading the comments was seeing OTHER WOMEN TEARING OTHER WOMEN DOWN.
What madness is that? Like how? WHY? I don’t understand why girls need to sit
there on their phones or their computer screens and tear down other females
about their decision or their appearance PUBLICLY. I mean, hand on heart. When
your ex gets with someone else I’m sure you and your best friend have probably
made comments to each other privately?
But would you really do this on a Facebook post when over a
million people can read it and just think ‘what a tw*t’ (excuse my language).
So there are just four main points that I really want to rant about…
O N E: ‘A Real Women would bow down and apologise for not
being ALL Women for him’
As a Women who has
been cheated on, you do start to have this belief in your head and doubt that
you wasn’t good enough. That is definitely not the case, if your partner has a
problem or isn’t happy then (excuse my terminology here) but a ‘REAL’ man would
want to fix the issue and talk about it or break up. The person who cheats is
responsible for their physical actions. Do Not SHIFT blame to make yourself
feel better. The fact that both men and women thought this was OK to agree with actually was shocking. If role were reversed I doubt if you were a guy you'd be thinking that. And for a female if this had happened to you, how can you just think that's acceptable to say when you would be believing it too?
T W O : ‘A Real Women would just chuck his ass and if not
she’s weak’:
I mean seriously? Who, hand on heart would have the strength
to get back with someone once they’ve cheated on you? I mean Beyoncé did it and
realised she wanted to be with Jay-Z. In all honesty, relationships are complex
and only you know the answer to what you should do. Social shaming for someone to try and make
their relationship work it’s pretty unfair. You’d be surprised how many
women/men take back their partner after the incident and how many say the whole
thing make them feel closer in the end. Why feel the need to degrade someone if
that’s what they want to do? And for guys who were comment saying that that they lost respect for a women if they did this for you... Then do not take her back, she would deserve better than you.
T H R E E: The use of the word ‘Real’
Like what? So if I don’t bow down to male or vice versa… I
DON’T EXIST? I mean, what on earth is REAL anyway? Aren’t we just confirming
gender bias and stereotypes by using these? Who are we to define what a ‘real’
human should act, say or feel? Who decides who is real anyway?
F O U R: Shaming the side chic
Who has spoken to a guy thinking they are single to then
later on found out that they aren’t single? How hurt were you? And also my
friend you were the side chic. It can easily happen. Also, the person who is
cheating are the ones who are manipulating the situation whether they are
saying they are unhappy or that they are single. The side chic isn’t responsible
for cheating, even though I get why people put the blame on them… Unless they
are a close friend, the side person also owes you know loyalty. Your partner
does and if they shift the blame on them, it was their action to cheat, I
highly doubt she forced him too.
If you have made it to the end, thank you for reading my
rant post and please feel free to comment your thoughts and opinions on it xo
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