Three weeks ago, I was diagnosed with dyspraxia. If you’re
reading this and you think ‘What the hell is Dyspraxia?’ You are not alone. I
had no clue what that was or why I had it? All I knew was that it meant I was eligible
for ‘Disability Allowance’ at University and that it’s similar to dyslexia but
it’s not dyslexia. The only reason I had a diagnosis of Dyspraxia because I was
at a Dyslexia screening. But since I plucked up the courage to tell
friends/employers/family, a lot of people didn’t know and the only comment
which was made was ‘oh isn’t that clumsy boy syndrome?’.
At first, I felt extremely sad when I found out; I always
felt a bit different and a bit ‘slow’ compared to everyone else and to finally
have an explanation why… it just made me feel low to figure it out. And then I
felt really angry. How did I manage to go through my GCSE, A - LEVELS and Two
Years of University without anyone knowing? HOW?! I felt like the school system
had let me down. I mean I didn’t even know what dyspraxia was (which is sad
because it actually 5-10% of the population have it) so of course, I decided to
google it…
Googles definition of dyspraxia is: ‘a developmental
disorder of the brain in childhood causing difficulty in activities requiring
coordination and movement.’ Which, for me needed a further
explanation so I decided to explore more.
What I gathered, is that the signals which are sent out from
my brain to my body gets muddled up which effects my organisation skills, motor
and gross skills, social skills, sense of direction and thought process. Sadly,
my brain works x10 harder compared to the general population to do the simplest
of tasks. And the myth that you ‘just grow out’ of dyspraxia is utter bollocks.
Before I found out I was dyspraxic, I honestly did not
understand why I wasn’t able to cook, or why I struggled to construct sentences
or why I just randomly tripped or why I can’t control the volume of my voice. I
guess I was just labelled as odd and quirky which was something that people
could be able to laugh at, instead of realising that it was actually a serious
problem. In all honesty, I still feel inadequate compared to other people.
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| Bad attempted of shortbread I tried to make... |
It was painful finding out, looking back at every situation
where dyspraxia explained the unexplainable events and reframing the past 20
years of my life and understanding why when I was a kid I couldn’t do my shoe
laces or why people would ask me to explain what I meant. OR WHY I COULD NEVER
TELL MY LEFTS FROM MY RIGHT, OR WHY MY LISTENING SKILLS ARE AWFUL.
It turned out a lot of my weakness and things which I was ashamed
off was because of a learning difficulty that I did not even know I have. Which
before my diagnosis I had never even heard off but yet it’s affected my whole
life. It affected my self-confidence, my relationship with my parents and my friendships.
Sadly, I faced discrimination majority of everyday and for years I didn't even realise until the other day when I was talking to my friend quite loudly and I lost my balance (which
is really normal for me anyway) but then a woman in a shop got annoyed at me
and accused me of being drunk (I did not touch a drop of alcohol that day) and I
apologised and I actually said that I was dyspraxic and It was an accident.
Do you want to know her reply was?
‘ t h a t I s n o t
a n e x c u s e , my cousin has dyspraxia and he isn’t loud, you're just drunk’
No two people with dyspraxia are the same, just as depression
it affects people different and it doesn’t define people who they are.
I managed to get a 2:1 last year overall without any extra
help; just hard work and determination, I work in care where I have to use my
fine and gross motor skills all the time. People with dyspraxia struggle more
but there are some positives to it! Before my diagnosis everyone would say how
insane my long-term memory was and now I know why.
So in conclusion to my rant, dyspraxia is something biological
which you cannot change. We struggle, but with determination and the right strategies
be able to do ok. We just need a bit more time and recognition because simple
things don’t come easier to us… And schools should do more to raise awareness.
Is there any weakness in your life which you were ashamed off
and what do you do to try and overcome them? Do you know anyone with Dyspraxia? xox
